June 17, 2007

Robin began a news story this morning about hydrogen powered cars. Howard interrupted by asking, "Where do you get hydrogen? - Isn't it part of oxygen? H2O?"

Robin refrained from calling her meal ticket a stupid fucking dumbass and simply said, "Well these cars produce H2O ... "

Howard provided another quip by asking, "Wouldn't it be cool if they could make a car that ran on [salt] water?"

Yes Howard - that would be a good idea - since there is no chance that sodium chloride residue would clog up an internal combustion engine.

Howard finished with the memorably idiotic lines, "Just our luck all the hydrogen will be in Iran." and the not so obvious "H2O is water!"

November 1, 2007

This morning while talking to a representative of the USO, Howard tried to learn the reason for Artie's rejected trip to Iraq. Howard asked if a firefight broke out during a USO performance, would he be allowed to grab a weapon himself and start firing back. The USO rep said no. To which Howard twice responded "I would love to fire an Uzi into a ... [crowd?]".

Here Howard shows a Freudian fondness for Israel - as nowhere in the US military are the (Yiddish made) Uzis issued or in use - even in a special forces capacity. The Colt M16 A2, M60, M249 SAW (Squad Automatic Weapon), or H&K MP5 would have been a more appropriate choice of nomenclature. Howard showing once again, a lack of knowledge of all things manly.

April 24, 2007

Howard claimed that "Ronald Reagan was the biggest conservationist around ... he was concerned with the air and pollution ...". According to various sources (see below), Reagan was anything but a conservationist.
As usual - when the self-professed dumbass tries to educate his listeners, he is always wrong.

"... environmental legislation came under attack during the conservative Republican presidencies of Ronald Reagan and George Bush." (MS Encarta)

"[Reagan’s EPA director] was dismayed by Reagan’s cavalier dismissal of the importance of acid rain ..."
issues2000.org

"Reagan was unwilling to be pushed around by environmental groups ..."
snopes.com

Artie (an authority on heroin  & cocaine) - in his typical insecure manner of questioning Howard asked "He killed himself? I always thought it was overdose of heroin accidentally."

Howard responds. "Maybe I'm wrong - but I know he's dead."

Nice job Howard. No one ever reported that he killed himself. In fact Shannon Hoon died of a cocaine overdose on October 21, 1995.

Next up from Howard: "Crazy - this Sinatra dude died from semen poisoning."

Howard said that Sirius and XM would not merge - Wrong!

Mel Karmazin - a man with less personality than Howard K. Stern, and even less ability to distinguish between what is cool and what is not - will announce soon that Sirius and XM will unite.

Howard getting married, Sirius/XM merging, what is next - Jackie the Jokeman making a comeback?

Howard Stern said he would never get married again. Wrong.

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Feb 12, 2007

While talking about Sting and the Police's performance at the Grammys, Howard said "I think he can blow himself, can't he? Isn't that his claim?"

Robin and Gary responded, "He never said he could blow himself - he said he could make love for twelve or fifteen hours."

Gee Howard, you weren't too far off there. I think the announcement that Sting had his own dick in his mouth would probably have made headlines had it been true.

Howard was wrong when he hired the dolt who is in charge of coming up with segments for the "Master Tape Theater"

On the morning after her death, wouldn't it make sense  - to have an all "Anna Nicole Smith" segment day?

I guess when Howard takes one of his rare vacations, the brains of Sirius employees go on vacation as well.

Howard said Bam Margera from Jackass was marrying "... a chick he knew from high school - that was his high school sweetheart. And she's like a real regular girl."

"Hey Howard," Gary interrupts. "Will is saying they never actually dated in high school. Apparently she was the hot chick from high school that he couldn't get."

Howard ignores this major screw-up and doesn't even attempt to blame the misinformation on someone else. Must be a form of HD - Hebrew Dyslexia.

she's like one of a billon people that survived.

Actually Howard - it was more like 6+ billion people who survived. I survived by holding onto my Xbox controller in my living room.

Jan 26, 2007 (replay of Dec 7, 1994)

Thanks Howard. The taxpayers and crime victims of the U.S. certainly think of you as a hero.

Apparently - Howard Stern has never seen a duck before - and therefore couldn't possibly understand the difficulty of mating a human with poultry.